Allowing for the possibility of โ€ฆ well, a different possibility

By Sarah Hansing

Photo: Montaรฑa de Oro State Park (Bruce Dorman)

Photo: Montaรฑa de Oro State Park (Bruce Dorman)

It seems that nearly every person I know has started one, is adding to one, or is working on one: The Bucket List.

A personal checklist of going and seeing and doing and eating and drinking and adventuring.

Itโ€™s an admirable thing, really, having a list of must-doโ€™s for oneโ€™s time on earth. I honestly always felt a little odd-man-out, because I donโ€™t really have one. ย I mean, thereโ€™s stuff I want to do, for sure, but I donโ€™t really have a bucket list.

I probably tend to be a bit too impulsive for lists when it comes to life, which isnโ€™t necessarily a good thing, I suppose. ย But my proclivity towards โ€œI have decided that I want to do this thing, so I am going to do it right nowโ€ has propelled me towards a lot of adventures.

Itโ€™s been responsible for a lot of risks and a lot of gambles. ย 

Iโ€™ve done a lot of things that other people wouldnโ€™t have done, on a timeline they certainly wouldnโ€™t have done it on. Maybe I should plan better, but my approach seems to always work out pretty well for me. Start with a plan and add the โ€œish.โ€ Stir well. ย ย 

Plan (ish) ย where youโ€™re going to go (ish) on the budget you have (ish) within your set timeline or schedule (ish).

Be realistic (ish). ย 

The (ish) is an important thing, to me. ย Iโ€™ve come to the conclusion that while most people can say they have a Bucket List, I have a Bucket List (ish). ย 

And Iโ€™ve been really fortunate to have just explored one of the things I didnโ€™t even KNOW was on the list, which was to live in Australia for three months. ย 

It was awesome. Except the part where I got hurt, and couldnโ€™t ride my bike for a month and a half even though I had planned to ride it every single day. I was super bummed and in large part, it was because I had forgotten about the โ€œish.โ€ I had forgotten about reality. You see, we donโ€™t always have everything go the way we want it to go, according to our rules and wishes, hopes and expectations. I know I was supposed to learn this when I was 2 yrs old, and retained that lesson … but I still struggle with it: We donโ€™t always get our way.

Iโ€™m not going to lie โ€“ I had tantrums about not being able to ride. I acted like a petulant child (in my defense, part of that had to do with the fact that I WASNโ€™T riding). I wasnโ€™t getting to ride the singletrack I wanted to ride. I wasnโ€™t getting onto my mountain bike because I could barely even road ride. THINGS WERENโ€™T GOING ACCORDING TO MY PLAN AND I WAS NOT HAPPY. ย 

I had forgotten about the โ€œish.โ€

Until a ride happened that hadnโ€™t been on my radar, really. It was really tough fire road climbs in the mountains. Not my usual jam. A thunderstorm chased us for miles. At least two very large birds of prey tried to eat us, Iโ€™m pretty sure. They were probably Prehistoric Spider Birds of Doom. Australians ย have some crazy shit, and I wouldnโ€™t put Prehistoric Spider Birds of Doom past them.

Anyways, my partner and I thought we were probably going to die. We got the giggles. We had to walk a lot. I actually had to walk a lot more than she did, truth be told. It was terrible and painful and beautiful and wonderful and hilarious and ย the most fun Iโ€™ve had on accident in a very very long time. We didnโ€™t even do the ride we had planned out. But it was the perfect ride.

It was a good reminder to me that I do very well with the punctuation of โ€œishโ€ in my life. Itโ€™s a thoughtful and welcome pause in the conversation of life. It ย leaves room for developments and changes to happen. Itโ€™s nothing to panic about. It doesnโ€™t mean everything is going horribly wrong. It simply allows for the possibility of โ€ฆ well, a different possibility. It will take some reminding from myself, from other people, and from the universe itself that โ€œishโ€ is a good thing. And being outside on two wheels, the possibilities are endless. The โ€œishโ€ is infinite. ย 

There is actually quite a lot of comfort in that.ย 


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โ€‹Fat Tire Tuesday columnist Sarah Hansingย has been slinging wrenches as a pro bike mechanic for 15 years (with the exception of a one year stint working for Trek Bicycles in Wisconsin.)ย Epicenter Cycling scooped her up as their lead mechanic and the shop’s crewย plans to โ€‹keep her forever. Sarah loves riding singletโ€‹rack, wrenchingย on bikes, and hanging out with her jerk-face but adorable cat Harlan. (Who is a jerk.)