Matt Niswonger

Editor’s Note — The Hurt Cycle: Survival Mode is No Fun

As I write this Editor’s Note California is recovering from a massive winter storm that left almost a million people out of power. Things are a mess. After sustained 60 MPH winds across much of the state for almost 24 hours, winter just got real. Trees are down everywhere and first responders are struggling to respond to floods, crushed houses, car accidents, and all kinds of storm related damage. California is a mess.

Welcome to ASJ issue #132. Truth be told things are not going well right now. Getting this issue ready for press has been a struggle.

As I’ve said before, the beating heart of Adventure Sports Journal is my wife and business partner Cathy Claesson.  As an old school print magazine she has a hard deadline that we have to meet or this magazine will not get printed.

Over the years Cathy has stepped up and found her calling as a talented publisher with a variety of skill sets. I’m proud of her because I know how hard it is for one person to do what she does.

I’m not gonna lie these past few days have been rough. The storm hit right in the middle of deadline and I was too distracted to be of much help. As a lineman, I work outside to help repair electrical infrastructure when the power goes out during storms.

My phone was ringing off the hook right when this issue was coming together. Usually that is not a problem because Cathy picks up my slack.

Then, a few nights ago Cathy woke up in the middle of the night with severe abdominal pain and we rushed to the hospital for emergency care. It took a couple of days to find the right doctor, so she was in the hospital for three days.

This added tons of stress because we were now juggling deadline, the storm, and most importantly, Cathy’s health. Luckily her surgery was successful.

When life gets hard I don’t always handle it well. I’m not proud to say I sometimes resort to anger and stubbornness.

In the midst of all this turmoil I’ve been struggling with my worst case of writer’s block in twenty years. I spent hours writing about something that happened in my childhood and the article just flopped and none of our editors liked it. I had to start over.

Getting up at 3am to write and then working in the rain all day while trying to support my wife after her surgery pushed me to the brink. I pretty much lost it. I got angry, resentful, and selfish. All I wanted to do was crawl back into bed and quit everything.

During times like this I’m reminded that life is hard and sometimes life is REALLY hard. In addition to all the stress of the last few days I just found out a coworker has cancer in his spine and will need back surgery and radiation. I feel terrible for him.

As you read these words please understand we are hanging by a thread. There is a storm outside and there are storms going on inside all of us.

Publishing Adventure Sports Journal has not been easy, but we are not giving up. Thanks for reading our magazine and we hope it inspires you to face life’s challenges with courage and grace.

The good news is that the storm left a deep layer of snow throughout the Sierra and we do need this rain to offset years of drought.

Life is hard sometimes but we will get through it. I have a feeling good times are right around the corner. Being in survival mode is no fun but playing outside can heal us. Thanks for reading my words.

— Matt Niswonger

matt@adventuresportsjournal.com

Click Here to Support ASJ

 

Pick up a copy of ASJ at your favorite outdoor retailer or CLICK HERE and become a member to have ASJ delivered to your home. 

Read other Editor’s Note Here